About Me

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Denver, Colorado, United States

Sunday, July 31, 2011

Be Who You Are

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." ----- Dr. Seuss

Dr. Seuss, what a genius! Children may love his books but, I'm convinced that, if more adults read them it would be a much better world. 

Be who you are! 

Last weekend I had something very unexpected happen, not just once, but a couple of times.  My first instinct was to wonder "what did I do" .  Later, when reflecting back, I discovered it wasn't what I did, it was what I didn't do!  Be myself. 

I have so many parts of who I am that I'm very proud of.  I also have a few others that I'd just as soon forget.  All together it makes me...well...me.  The problem ocurred because I took one of my parts and magnified it until it seemed there was nothing else to me.  Why did I do it?  I thought that's what the other person wanted.  If they're happy, I'm happy...right? 

Right...for a little while.

It's extremely hard to be who you're not.  It is possible to fake it for a while but, ultimately, who you are is going to come out and someone's likely to get hurt.  In this case, that someone was me.  If only I would have found that quote sooner.  Dr. Suess, where were you when I needed you? 

Be who you are...what a genius!

Friday, July 29, 2011

When You Least Expect It

"Happiness is like a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you." ----- Nathaniel Hawthorne

I've been thinking about this a lot lately.  Happiness shouldn't be this much work!   I've noticed, however, that just when I'm ready to give up the pursuit...it always seems to find me and brings some fantastic friends along with it. 

It has been exactly eight months since I arrived in Colorado and I've made some wonderful discoveries and  friends.  All of which I did not set out to make but, more or less, fell into my lap.   My riding instructor for one...she's an incredible teacher, a wonderful listener and so much fun to be around.  Whenever I visit her ranch I never feel like an outsider and I always feel welcome.  I know, I know...I pay her...but I think we'd be friends even if I weren't.  (I can hear her laughing as she reads this!)  My belly dance teacher is another, she's very supportive and always encouraging, even though I know I have a long way to go before what I'm doing looks even remotely sexy.  (OK, I know, I pay her too!)  I really do have friends here that I don't pay (and still like me) but I prefer to keep them to myself.  My point is, not one of these people did I set out to make my friend.  It just happened and it's been amazing.  Happiness isn't a lot of work...it comes in the form of friends, and it happens when you least expect it.

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Come Sit With Me

"Memory is a way of holding on to the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose"
 ---Kevin Arnold

"Come sit with me".  Four little words that make me happy and sad at the same time.  Four little words that Snow Angel would often say to me, and too often, I ignored while proceeding with my mindless tasks.  She was asking me to spend time with her, and looking back, I wished I would have listened more often.

Our time on this planet is extremely short and filled with so many distractions that it's easy to lose sight of what's really important.  Every day people are asking you to "come sit with me".   My advice...listen!  I know it's impossible to honor every request, all I'm asking is that you think first before responding.  What if this person were gone tomorrow?  Would it matter that the laundry wasn't done?  That there were dirty dishes in the sink? Or that the bathtub grout was a little dingy?  From personal experience, I can tell you "HELL NO!" 

That's the sad part....now for the happy : )

I remember, vividly, one request to "come sit with me".  We were in the hospital and Snow Angel was sitting in her bed watching TV while I was pacing around and packing things up for our trip home later that night.  I don't know whether she was sick of watching me rush around in a frenzy or simply wanted me to relax but I got the request..."come sit with me"...and this time I listened.  I sat down on the bed next to her as she held my hand, leaned her head against mine and kissed my cheek.  We sat there for a long time, quite, except for the sound of the television.  It's a memory that brings me so much comfort.  I only wish I would have done it more often.

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Skinny Dippin'

"If somebody's looking at pictures of naked people and you go, "Oh I don't want to see that," you're lying. Cause naked people are always interesting. Always. Whether they're beautiful, or naked or 500 pounds." --- Andy Richter

OK, I promised lighthearted every once in a while...now you're going to get it! 

I usually start all my posts the same way.  I spend my weekend and days off exploring the area and taking photos of places and things that inspire me.  I come home, crop, edit and view my pictures and see what kind of emotions they invoke.  I love this picture (above) and the feeling I get from it, however, the feeling I get and the feeling you get can be something totally different. While you may see a a beautiful picture and imagine a quiet walk on it's banks.  I see a semi-remote place, a fresh warm breeze, chilly mountain water and an AWESOME place to skinny dip.  Just so you know, I didn't do it......yet.

I know what you all are thinking.  "Dang....didn't she just talk about rolling around naked in bluegrass a couple of posts ago?"  Yes I did.  I think this Facebook comment from a good friend will explain why.  (Any of you women out there in your 40's will understand)    

"It was time the old wild gal showed up. Life is short baby girl and they have always told us a "woman in her 40's is in the prime of her life"...so let's continue to test that theory!!!!" ---Thanks Alicia, I will!

This may not be my most articulate or thought provoking post (or maybe, for some of you, it is) but it has provoked me to put a lot more thought into that skinny dipping idea.  ; )  Carpe Diem!

Monday, July 11, 2011

What Lies Ahead

"Each man has his own vocation; his talent is his call. There is one direction in which all space is open to him" --- Ralph Waldo Emerson

What is my vocation, my talent, my call?  It's hard to say. It's changed so many times...and every time I think I have it all figured out something unexpected happens and I'm back at square one.  Today is Monday, July 11th, AKA (Also Know As) the cusp of a new square one.

When I moved to Colorado last December I had a plan.  I had the next two years all laid out...job, apartment, plans for the ranch, and an estimated completion date.  Now, nearly 8 months later, I'm getting ready to reevaluate the whole strategy.  As Emerson said,  "Each man has his own vocation; his talent is his call....".  Well, this woman, feels like she has been ignoring her calling simply because it wasn't in the plan.  That's about to change.  "There is one direction in which all space is open to him" and in my case, that direction is North, to Wyoming

The plan this time is not so hard and fast.  I've decided that things don't usually work out that way and it's better to just have a rough draft (from the heart) instead of a formal plan (from the head).  It will require some sacrifice but I've discovered, when it's something you really want, the sacrifice is nothing compared to reward that lies ahead. 

What lies ahead for me?  I'm not exactly sure right now.  I am sure, however, that I'm headed in the right direction. 

Monday, July 4, 2011

Touching A Soul

"Peoples dreams are made out of what they do all day.  The same way a dog that runs after rabbits will dream of rabbits.  It's what you do that makes your soul, not the other way around."  ---Barbara Kingsolver

I spent the last couple of days walking various trails near my house.  I had a three day weekend and decided that, unlike other weekends, I was not going to make any plans and just take it easy.  It's amazing the things you notice when you take the time to look.  I found this adorable baby rabbit curled up in a hole at the base of a tree.  He couldn't have been more than six inches long and blended almost perfectly with the dirt and dried grass.  What was truly amazing was how close he allowed me to get before running and hiding in the nearest prairie dog burrow.

Ever since I was a child I had fantasies of being like Snow White, and no, not because she lived in the woods with seven men.  Although.........sorry couldn't resist!  The fantasy came from the part where she was out it the woods singing, all the animals gathered around and a bird came down and landed on her finger.  I've always loved animals and, call me crazy,  I swear that we share a special bond.  Kind of an unspoken understanding of each other.  I, by no means, think that I am the only one who has this ability.  I believe that eveyone has it, but many either don't care to experience it, or are too busy to notice it.

I can give so many examples of why I believe this is true but this is the the most memorable...

I have a dog named Freckles that Snow Angel purchased shortly before she began her "New Life".    I wasn't too sure about her decision to buy a dog, we had so much going on in our lives, but I'm thankful every day that she did.  It was with Freckles that I had my first Snow White experience.  I was crying (one of those Snow Angel moments) and Freckles was sitting down by my feet.  She then stared up at me, as if she were looking into my soul, jumped up on the sofa and but her paw on my heart.  The whole time looking into my eyes and wagging her tail a 100 mph.  Freckles knew what I needed and she told me, through her actions, "I'm here with you, everything is going to be OK".

Maybe that's why the rabbit let me get so close, through my actions, I told him "I'm here with you, everything is going to be OK"....and it was.

Saturday, July 2, 2011

Barefoot In Bluegrass

“The moment one gives close attention to any thing, even a blade of grass it becomes a mysterious, awesome, indescribably magnificent world in itself.”  ---  Henry Miller

Call me a dork, if you must, but every day when I head out to work I am drawn to the grass on the hill near my front door.  It calls to me...and I have a hard time resisting.   One day I'm tempted to listen to it's call to take of my shoes, strip off my clothes and roll in the cool, sweet, soft grass.  Although, shortly afterwards, I will probably be arrested and taken into custody for indecent exposure.  Oh, the price we pay for happiness!  

The grass here in Colorado takes me back to my childhood in Kansas.  It reminds me of rolling down hills at the park, running barefoot chasing fireflies at night, sitting on the porch eating homemade peach ice-cream and listening to the locust sing.  It reminds me of the summer when Grandma put a quilt over a clothesline to make a tent for me in the backyard, next to the garden, and eating ice-cycle radishes fresh from the earth. 

All of the sudden life seems so simple...we just make it hard.  Today I walked outside barefoot and sat on the hill, it was just as I imagined it would be "indescribably magnificent"!                                                  

* Note to self:  When I get to Santa Sara Ranch plant a patch of bluegrass and roll naked in the privacy of my own backyard where the risk of arrest is slim to none.  Gotta try it!