About Me

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Denver, Colorado, United States

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

A Pirates Life Is Not For Me & Cancer 101

Since I have been too busy to take photos and write lately, I've decided to have a guest writer.  My angel, Sara. 

I was re-reading some of her blog posts on MySpace and had to laugh at how someone, who had been through as much as she had, still kept her sense of humor.  I hope you find them as entertaining as I do.  Maybe you'll also see the lessons in them as well.

These are all her own words...and if her mom can forgive the occasional four letter word...I hope you can too.

damn i miss my short hair, i was a sexy beast!  D

***A Pirates Life Is Not For Me***

So I realized on Nov. 2nd 2005 that I am NOT pirate material.  Although I do enjoy rum, rape and looting....sailing the Atlantic is not for me!!
How it started:  me and my cousin Greg set sail on his new 42' sailboat from St. Augustine and we headed to Fort Pierce.  It was an easy going start thru the intercoastal, as i waved good-bye to my mom who was standing on the dock.  Then, the minute we hit the inlet where i first set sail on the great wide Atlantic with it's 6' seas.... VOMIT!!   followed by vomit, vomit, vomit, and yes, more vomit! 

That was the worst day of my life!! I have gone thru chemo, surgeries, life threatening diseases and get this... SAILING WAS FAR WORSE!  at least open sea sailing!  Intercoastal waterways are more up my alley.
I spent the entire night slamming into the bunk below because I had no balance, vomitting constantly.  At times around 3-4 a.m. the seas were so rough that they felt like they knocked the boat on it's side. I thought I was going to die!!   All I could see were the stars above my head spinning around and around.  Which indeed made it worse.  The next morning I got dropped off at port canaveral, where my mom came and picked my sorry pirate ass up and took me back home. I was completely dehydrated and the whole world was a spinnin'... and i wasn't even in college!!  teeheehee. 
I was very pissed off that my goal of completing this trip had failed.  That I didn't get to accomplish much because I spent all my time being sick.  I will try again in January, smaller trip though, of course.

Motto:  I will be the best damn pirate I can be! 

***Cancer 101***

I was diagonsed with osteosarcoma (bone cancer) back on October 8th, 2001 (9th grade).  I'm still battling that up to this day.  Since 2001 I've had it in 5 different locations.  My right knee, my right hip, my right pelvic bone, and both my left and right lung.  (If any one wonders what i refer to as my "bad side" I obviously mean my right side lol.)  I have had chemotherapy and surgery: 13 total as far as August 2005... (a port, 3 biopsies, a knee replacement, 5 lung surgeries, a hematoma, 1 hip surgery and a femur replacement (Number 13 in the world to have that, LUCKY EH? haha) it seems that i never make it past my 6 month check up before another spot appears!  It's always on the 8th of the month it seems like!  Which was supposed to be my "lucky number" when i was little.  haha.  Yeaaa, not anymore... neways I still can do almost all the basic things...I am a normal teenager.... well as normal as i am going to get!  haha.  I am not supposed to run or jump but I do,  not well,  but I do. Just don't tell my doctors!  hehe.  but um, if i get chased by a murdurer then um yea, I'm screwed!!  LOL.  I find my strength, faith and courage in my family and friends and a positive outlook on life.  Without those things i would be lost.  I'm not afraid of dying now. I want to live a fulfilled life and that's exactly what I am going to do!! So watch out cuz i'm coming bitches yeaha!  LOL.  I'm going to college to study marine medicine and try to find a cure for cancer  and in my free time I volunteer and donate to all cancer research and projects.  After being a camper at BOGGY CREEK gang camp (a camp for kids with cancer) I  was a leader in training for a year.  I do bake sales and such to raise money for Relay For Life (I raised the most money for our area in 2004 cuz I kick ass! and I have a really ugly (cough, cough) I mean beautiful trophy made with a Bratz doll, some fake money and a can of gold spray paint that Mrs Joli made for me!)  For Relay for Life 2006 I hope to reach my new goal of $1,500.  SO DONATE!!!  Anyways I also delievered candy to Wolfson's Childrens Hospital on Halloween 2004 and helped Nemour's Childrens Clinic with their Halloween Party for the Little kids.

In my eyes I don't see that cancer will kill me...if I'm going to go,  I'm going to go by bungee jumping to my death from the  Grand Canyon!!  hehe.  Or most likely alcohol poisoning in college.

So basically what this blog is about is to make U realize that when U complain about stupid little shit...like "oh my boy/girlfriend dumped me"... FUCKING GET OVER IT!  You don't know real troubles!  I'm not saying "oh, poor me" cuz I'm not...I've seen people that have it worse... and even though my story seems...not so great...I believe it was the best thing that ever happened to me because I'm a better person and I'm lucky to be where am I in this point in time and have great people by my side.  So just think next time before U open your mouth to complain!  PLEASE!  Or just don't come to me cuz I don't wanna hear it.

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Gotta Get Mooooovin'

"When you face your fear, most of the time you will discover that it was not really such a big threat after all. We all need some form of deeply rooted, powerful motivation / it empowers us to overcome obstacles so we can live our dreams." -- Les Brown

See the look on that cows face lying in the water?  That look, sums up how I feel right now.  She/he (can't tell...private parts are underwater) looks a little overwhelmed!  I've been very busy the past few weeks, things seem to be happening so fast, and I'm beginning to feel that way too. 

It always seems to be that way for me.  I'm either bored because I have nothing to do OR I have so much to do that I freak out a little bit.  Freaking out a little bit right now...

I really think I need that though.  Fear and panic are great motivators.  I find myself almost creating situations to keep myself motivated and moving.  For example, I told my apartment complex that I would be out by the end of October.  My lease isn't up until the end of November but, I know, I do not want to commute 62 miles to work, in the snow, and on a road that frequently closes.  So, to make sure I don't procrastinate, I tell them that I'll be out by the end of October and if they find a new tenant (and will let me out of paying November rent) it's all theirs!   

Another huge motivator for me is recognition.  I will work myself to death, never asking for help, panicking the whole time, and near the point of tears just to hear the words "I don't know how you do it...you're amazing" and to which I reply "Oh, it was nothing".  Is that sick or what???????

Today is Saturday October 1st.  I have exactly 7 (weekend) days off to complete the following...figure out where I'm going to be living, pack up all my "worldly possessions" and begin moving them into storage, clean the entire apartment in hopes of getting my deposit back, turn a 24 lb. block of glycerin into decorative goats milk soap, make several dozen fragrant bath fizzies, and spend quality time with my two canine children.  "I'll do it too" because "I'm motivated, I am amazing, it was nothing, and yes...I am sick!!!!!"